Camilo José Cela La familia de Pascual Duarte [The Family of ... ] Translation by Anthony Kerrigan Edición bilingÜe, español- inglés, de Miguel Garci-Gomez. Dept. Romance Stydies. Duke. U. --
I
Yo, señor, no soy malo, aunque no me faltarían motivos para serlo. Los mismos cueros tenemos todos los mortales al nacer y sin embargo, cuando vamos creciendo, el destino se complace en variarnos como si fuésemos de cera y en destinarnos por sendas diferentes al mismo fin: la muerte. Hay hombres a quienes se les ordena marchar por el camino de las flores, y hombres a quienes se les manda tirar por el camino de los cardos y de las chumberas. Aquellos gozan de un mirar sereno y al aroma de su felicidad sonríen con la cara del inocente; estos otros sufren del sol violento de la llanura y arrugan el ceño como las alimañas por defenderse. Hay mucha diferencia entre adornarse las carnes con arrebol y colonia, y hacerlo con tatuajes que después nadie ha de borrar ya.	I AM NOT, sir, a bad person, though in all truth I am not lacking in reasons for being one. We are all born naked, and yet, as we begin to grow up, it pleases Destiny to vary us, as if we were made of wax. Then, we are all sent down various paths to the same end: death. Some men are ordered down a path lined with flowers, others are asked to advance along a road sown with thistles and prickly pears. The first gaze about serenely and in the aroma of their joyfulness they smile the smile of the innocent, while the latter writhe under the violent sun of the plain and kni t their brows like varmints at bay. There is a world of difference between adorning one′s flesh with rouge and eau-decologne and doing it with tattoos that later will never wear off . . .
Nací hace ya muchos años -lo menos cincuenta y cinco- en un pueblo perdido por la provincia de Badajoz; el pueblo estaba a unas dos leguas de Almendralejo, agachado sobre una carretera lisa y larga como un día sin pan, lisa y larga como los días -de una lisura y una largura como usted para su bien, no puede ni figurarse- de un condenado a muerte.	I was born a great many years ago, a good fifty-five at least, in a small village lost in the province of Badajoz. It lay, that village, some two leagues from Almendra- lejo, squatting athwart a road as empty and endless as a day without bread, as empty and endless - an emptiness and endlessness that you, luckily for you, cannot even imagine- as the days of a man condemned to death.
Era un pueblo caliente y soleado, bastante rico en olivos y guarros (con perdón), con las casas pintadas tan blancas, que aún me duele la vista al recordarlas, con una plaza toda de losas, con una hermosa fuente de tres caños en medio de la plaza. Hacía ya varios años, cuando del pueblo salí, que no manaba el agua de las bocas y sin embargo, ¡qué airosa!, ¡qué elegante!, nos parecía a todos la fuente con su remate figurado un niño desnudo, con su bañera toda rizada al borde como las conchas de los romeros.	It was a hot and sunlit village, rich enough in olive trees, and (begging your pardon ) hogs, its houses so bright with whitewash that the memory of them still makes me blink, a plaza all paved with cobblestone, and a fine three-spouted fountain in the middle of the plaza. No water had flowed from the three mouths of the fountain for some years before I left the village, and yet it was elegant, and a proud symbol in our eyes; its crest was topped with the figure of a naked boy, and the basin was scalloped around the edges like the shells of the pilgrims from Santiago de Compostela.
En la plaza estaba el ayuntamiento que era grande y cuadrado como un cajón de tabaco, con una torre en medio, y en la torre un reloj, blanco como una hostia, parado siempre en las nueve como si el pueblo no necesitase de su servicio, sino sólo de su adorno.	The town hall stood at one side of the plaza; it was shaped like a cigar box, with a tower in the middle, and a clock in the tower; the face of the clock was as white as the Host raised during Mass, and its hands were stopped forever at nine o′clock, as if the town had no need of its services but only wanted it for decoration.
En el pueblo, como es natural, había casas buenas y casas malas, que son, como pasa con todo, las que más abundan; había una de dos pisos, la de don Jesús, que daba gozo de verla con su recibidor todo lleno de azulejos y macetas.	As was only natural, the village contained good houses and bad, the bad far outnumbering, as is usual, the good. There was one house, two stories high, belonging to Don Jesus, which was a pleasure to see, with its entranceway faced with tile and lined with flowerpots.
Don Jesús había sido siempre muy partidario de las plantas, y para mí que tenía ordenado al ama vigilase los geranios, y los heliotropos, y las palmas, y la yerbabuena, con el mismo cariño que si fuesen hijos, porque la vieja andaba siempre correteando con un cazo en la mano, regando los tiestos con un mimo que a no dudar agradecían los tallos, tales eran su lozanía y su verdor. La casa de don Jesús estaba también en la plaza y, cosa rara para el capital del dueño que no reparaba en gastar, se diferenciaba de las demás, además de en todo lo bueno que llevo dicho, en una cosa en la que todos le ganaban: en la fachada, que aparecía del color natural de la piedra, que tan ordinario hace, y no enjalbegada como hasta la del más pobre estaba; sus motivos tendría. Sobre el portal había unas piedras de escudo, de mucho valer, según dicen, terminadas en unas cabezas de guerreros de la antigÜedad, con su cabezal y sus plumas, que miraban, una para el levante y otra para el poniente, como si quisieran representar que estaban vigilando lo que de un lado o de otro podríales venir.	Don Jesus had always been a strong believer in plants, and I suppose he kept after the housekeeper to watch over the geraniums, the heliotropes, the palms and the mint with the same loving care she might have given children. In any case, the old woman was always walking up and down with a kettle in her hand, watering the pots and pampering them with an attention they must have appreciated, to judge by the look of the shoots, so fresh and green . Don Jesus′ house faced the plaza, and yet it was different from all the other houses, not only in its several points of superiority, but also in one aspect where it seemed less than the rest: though its owner was wealthy and did not stint, its front was completely plain, its color was the natural color of the stone, and it was not whitewashed, as even the poorest houses were. Don Jesus must have had his reasons for leaving it that way. A stone shield was carved and fixed in the wall over the door; the carving was said to be of great value; the top part represented the heads of two ancient warriors wearing headpieces decorated with plumes; one warrior looked to the east and the other toward the west, as if they were keeping watch against any threat from either direction.
Detrás de la plaza, y por la parte de la casa de don Jesús, estaba la parroquial con su campanario de piedra y su esquilón que sonaba de una manera que no podría contar, pero que se me viene a la memoria como si estuviese sonando por estas esquinas.	Behind the plaza, on the same side as the house of Don Jesus, lay the parish church, with its stone bell tower and the bell which was like a hand bell and sounded in a strange way I could never describe, but which I can hear at this moment as if it were clanging around the corner . . .
La torre del campanario era del mismo alto que la del reló y en verano, cuando venían las cigÜeñas, ya sabían en qué torre habían estado el verano anterior; la cigÜeña cojita, que aún aguantó dos inviernos, era del nido de la parroquial, de donde hubo de caerse, aún muy tierna, asustada por el gavilán.	The bell tower was the same height as the clock tower, and in the summertime, when the storks carne to nest, some went to one tower and some to the other, each of them remembering which of the two towers it had used the year before. One little lame stork, which managed to last through two winters, belonged to the church nest, from which it had fallen while still very young, when pursued by a hawk.
Mi casa estaba fuera del pueblo, a unos doscientos pasos largos de las últimas de la piña. Era estrecha y de un solo piso, como correspondía a mi posición, pero como llegué a tomarle cariño, temporadas hubo en que hasta me sentía orgulloso de ella. En realidad lo único de la casa que se podía ver era la cocina, lo primero que se encontraba al entrar, siempre limpia y blanqueada con primor; cierto es que el suelo era de tierra, pero tan bien pisada la tenía, con sus guijarrillos haciendo dibujos, que en nada desmerecía de otras muchas en las que el dueño había echado porlan por sentirse más moderno. El hogar era amplio y despejado y alrededor de la campana teníamos un vasar con lozas de adorno, con jarras con recuerdos, pintados en azul, con platos con dibujos azules o naranja; algunos platos tenían una cara pintada, otros una flor, otros un nombre, otros un pescado.	My house lay outside the village, a good two hundred paces from the last cluster of houses. It was a cramped one-story house: narrow quarters, befitting my station in life. I came to feel affection for the place, and there were even times when I was proud of it. In actual fact the kitchen was the only room that was really decent; it was the first room as you entered the house, and it was always clean and kept whitewashed. True enough, the floor was earthen, but it was so well trodden down and the small paving stones were set in such nice patterns and designs that it was in no way inferior to many other floors where the owner had laid down cement in order to be modem. The hearth was roomy and clear; a shelf ran around the chimneypiece, which was in the semicircular shape of a funnel, and on the shelf we had ornamental crockery, jugs with mottoes painted in blue, and plates with blue and orange drawings. Some of the plates were decorated with a face, others with a flower, others with a name, and others with a fish.
En las paredes teníamos varias cosas; un calendario muy bonito que representaba una joven abanicándose sobre una barca y debajo de la cual se leía en letras que parecían de polvillo de plata, « Modesto Rodríguez. Ultramarinos finos. Mérida (Badajoz)», un retrato del Espartero con el traje de luces dado de color y tres o cuatro fotografías -unas pequeñas y otras regular- de no sé quién, porque siempre las vi en el mismo sitio y no se me ocurrió nunca preguntar. Teníamos también un reló despertador colgado de la pared, que no es por nada, pero siempre funcionó como Dios manda, y un acerico de peluche colorado, del que estaban clavados unos bonitos alfileres con sus cabecitas de vidrio de color. El mobiliario de la cocina era tan escaso como sencillo: tres sillas -una de ellas muy fina, con su respaldo y sus patas de madera curvada, y su culera de rejilla -y una mesa de pino, con su cajón correspondiente, que resultaba algo baja para las sillas, pero hacía su avío. En la cocina se estaba bien: era cómoda y en el verano, como no la encendíamos, se estaba fresco sentado sobre la piedra del hogar cuando, a la caída de la tarde, abríamos las puertas de par en par; en el invierno se estaba caliente con las brasas que, a veces, cuidándolas un poco, guardaban el rescoldo toda la noche. ¡Era gracioso mirar las sombras de nosotros por la pared, cuando había unas llamitas!	The walls were hung with a variety of objects. A very pretty calendar showed a young girl fanning herself in a boat and beneath her there was a line of letters which seemed like silver dust and read MODESTO Ro¬ DRIGUEZ. FINE FOODS FROM OVERSEAS. MERIDA, BADA JOZ PROVINCE. Then there was a portrait of the bullfighter Espartero in his bullfighting costume, in full color. There were three or four photographs, some small and some medium-sized, of various unknown faces; I had always seen them there, and so it never occurred to me to ask who they were. An alarm clock hung on the wail, and, though it isn′t much to say for it, the thing always worked perfectly. And there was a scarlet plush pincushion, with a number of pretty little glass-headed pins stuck into it, all the heads of a different color. The furniture in the kitchen was as sparse as it was simple: three chairs, one of which was quite delicate and fine, with curved back and legs and a wicker bottom, and a pinewood table with a drawer of its own, somewhat low for the chairs to slip under, but which served its purpose. It was a nice kitchen: there was plenty of room, and in the summertime, before we had to light the autumn fires, it was cool to sit on the hearthstone at the end o f the day with the doors wide open. In the wintertime we were warmed by the fire, and oftentimes, if the embers were well enough tended, they would give off a bit of heat all through the night. We used to watch our shadows on the wall when the small flames were dancing in the grate.
Iban y venían, unas veces lentamente, otras a saltitos como jugando. Me acuerdo que de pequeño, me daba miedo, y aún ahora, de mayor, me corre un estremecimiento cuando traigo memoria de aquellos miedos.	They came and went, sometimes slowly and then again in little playful leaps. When I was very young I remember that I was frightened by the shadows; I feel a shiver even now when I think of how afraid I used to be.
El resto de la casa no merece la pena ni describirlo, tal era su vulgaridad. Teníamos otras dos habitaciones, si habitaciones hemos de llamarlas por eso de que estaban habitadas, ya que no por otra cosa alguna, y la cuadra, que en muchas ocasiones pienso ahora que no sé por qué la llamábamos así, de vacía y desamparada como la teníamos. En una de las habitaciones dormíamos yo y mi mujer, y en la otra mis padres hasta que Dios, o quién sabe si el diablo, quiso llevárselos; después quedó vacía casi siempre, al principio porque no había quien la ocupase, y más tarde, cuando podía haber habido alguien; porque este alguien prefirió siempre la cocina, que además de ser más clara no tenía soplos. Mi hermana, cuando venía, dormía siempre en ella, y los chiquillos, cuando los tuve, también tiraban para allí en cuanto se despegaban de la madre. La verdad es que las habitaciones no estaban muy limpias ni muy construidas, pero en realidad tampoco había para quejarse; se podía vivir, que es lo principal, a resguardo de las nubes de la navidad, y a buen recaudo -para lo que uno se merecía- de las asfixias de la Virgen de agosto. La cuadra era lo peor; era lóbrega y oscura, y en sus paredes estaba empapado el mismo olor a bestia muerta que desprendía el despeñadero cuando allá por el mes de mayo comenzaban los animales a criar la carroña que los cuervos habíanse de comer.	The rest of the house scarcely deserves describing, it was so ordinary. We had two other rooms, if they can be called that merely because they were in the form of rooms and were used to live in. And there was a stable, though I wonder, too, why we called it that, since it was in reality empty and deserted and going to rot. One of the rooms eventually served as a bedroom for my wife and me. My father always slept in the other room, until God - or perhaps it was the Devil- wished to carry him off, and then it stayed empty most of the time, first because there was no one who would sleep there, and later, when it could have been used, because the kitchen was always preferred since it was not only lighter but also free from drafts. My sister, for example, always slept there whenever she came to visit us. The truth is that the rooms were not very clean or well built, but neither was there much cause for complaint. They could be lived in, which is the principal thing, and they offered protection from the wet winds of Christmastide, and a refuge - as much as one had a right to expect - from the asphyxiation in the dry days of the August Virgin. The stable was in the worst state. It was dark and dank, and its walls reeked with the same stench of dead beasts as rose from the ravine in the month of May, when the carcasses down below began to turn to carrion while the crows swooped to feed . . .
Es extraño pero, de mozo, si me privaban de aquel olor me entraban unas angustias como de muerte; me acuerdo de aquel viaje que hice a la capital por mor de las quintas; anduve todo el día de Dios desazonado, venteando los aires como un perro de caza. Cuando me fui a acostar, en la posada, olí mi pantalón de pana. La sangre me calentaba todo el cuerpo. Quité a un lado la almohada y apoyé la cabeza para dormir sobre mi pantalón, doblado. Dormí como una piedra aquella noche.	It is a strange thing, but if as a child I was taken out of range of that stench I felt the anguish of death. I remember a trip I made to the capital of the province to see about my military service. I spent the whole damn day wandering about as if I had lost my bearings, sniffing the wind like a game dog. When I went to bed back at the inn, I caught a whiff of my corduroy pants, and that brought me back to my senses. My blood began to run again and it warmed the heart of me. I pushed the pillow away and laid my head on the folded pants and slept like a log that night.
En la cuadra teníamos un burrillo matalón y escurrido de carnes que nos ayudaba en la faena y, cuando las cosas venían bien dadas, que dicho sea pensando en la verdad no siempre ocurría, teníamos también un par de guarros (con perdón) o tres. En la parte de atrás de la casa teníamos un corral o saledizo, no muy grande, pero que nos hacía su servicio, y en él un pozo que andando el tiempo hube de cegar porque dejaba manar un agua muy enfermiza.	We kept a sorry little burro in the stable, skinny and covered with sores, to help us in the work. When we had a run of luck - which to tell the truth was not very often - we also kept a pair of hogs (begging your pardon) or even as many as three. Behind the house there was a kind of corral, not very large but which served its purpose, and a well . Eventually I had to seal off the well because the water became polluted.
Por detrás del corral pasaba un regato, a veces medio seco y nunca demasiado lleno, cochino y maloliente como tropa de gitanos, y en el que podían cogerse unas anguilas hermosas, como yo algunas tardes y por matar el tiempo me entretenía en hacer. Mi mujer, que en medio de todo tenía gracia, decía que las anguilas estaban rollizas porque comían lo mismo que don Jesús, sólo que un día más tarde.	Beyond the corral ran a stream, sometimes half dry and never very full, always dirty and stinking like a troop of gypsies. Still, sometimes, when I wanted to kill an afternoon, I′d catch some fine eels there. My wife used to say, and despite everything, what she said was humorous enough, that the eels were so fat because they ate the same as Don Jesus - only a day later.
Cuando me daba por pescar se me pasaban las horas tan sin sentirlas, que cuando tocaba a recoger los bártulos casi siempre era de noche; allá, a lo lejos, como una tortuga baja y gorda, como una culebra enroscada que temiese despegarse del suelo, Almendralejo comenzaba a encender sus luces eléctricas.	When the mood to fish was on me the hours slipped away like shadows, without my noticing them, so that it was always dark by the time I went to pack up my gear. Far off in the distance, like a fat squat turtle, like a coiled snake hugging the ground and afraid to move, Almendralejo lay in the dusk, its lights beginning to flicker.
Sus habitantes a buen seguro que ignoraban que yo había estado pescando, que estaba en aquel momento mismo mirando cómo se encendían las luces de sus casas, imaginando incluso cómo muchos de ellos decían cosas que a mí se me figuraban o hablaban de cosas que a mí me ocurrían. ¡Los habitantes de las ciudades viven vueltos de espaldas a la verdad y muchas veces ni se dan cuenta siquiera de que a dos leguas, en medio de la llanura, un hombre del campo se distrae pensando en ellos mientras dobla la caña de pescar, mientras recoge del suelo el cestillo de mimbre con seis o siete anguilas dentro!	No one in Almendralejo knew or cared that I had been fishing, that at that moment I was watching the lights in their houses come on, that I was guessing what they said and imagining in my mind the subjects of their conversations. The inhabitants of cities live with their backs to the truth, and oftentimes they are not even aware that only a couple of leagues away, in the middle of the plain, a country man may be thinking about them while he packs up his gear, folds his fish- ing rod and picks up his little wicker basket with its six or seven eels inside.
Sin embargo, la pesca siempre me pareció pasatiempo poco de hombres, y las más de las veces dedicaba mis ocios a la caza; en el pueblo me dieron fama de no hacerlo mal del todo y, modestia aparte, he de decir con sinceridad que no iba descaminado quien me la dio. Tenía una perrilla perdiguera -la Chispa-, medio ruin, medio bravía, pero que se entendía muy bien conmigo; con ella me iba muchas mañanas hasta la Charca, a legua y media del pueblo hacia la raya de Portugal, y nunca nos volvíamos de vacío para casa. Al volver, la perra se me adelantaba y me esperaba siempre junto al cruce; había allí una piedra redonda y achatada como una silla baja, de la que guardo tan grato recuerdo como de cualquier persona; mejor, seguramente, que el que guardo de muchas de ellas.	Still and all I never thought fishing much of an occupation for men, and I always preferred to devote my spare time to hunting. I had a certain fame in the village for being not altogether a bad hand at it, and, modesty apart, I must say in all sincerity that the man who started the rumor was not mistaken. I had a setter bitch called Chispa, half mongrel and half wild; the two of us got along well together. I used to go with her often of a morning to the pond, a league and a half from the village, toward the Portuguese border. We never came home empty-handed. On the way back, the bitch used to run on ahead and wait for me at the crossroads. There was a round flat rock at that spot, like a low seat, and I remember it as fondly as I remember any person, or really, more fondly than many persons I have known.
Era ancha y algo hundida y cuando me sentaba se me escurría un poco el trasero (con perdón) y quedaba tan acomodado que sentía tener que dejarla; me pasaba largos ratos sentado sobre la piedra del cruce, silbando, con la escopeta entre las piernas, mirando lo que había de verse, fumando pitillos. La perrilla, se sentaba enfrente de mí, sobre sus dos patas de atrás, y me miraba, con la cabeza ladeada, con sus dos ojillos castaños muy despiertos; yo le hablaba y ella, como si quisiese entenderme mejor, levantaba un poco las orejas; cuando me callaba aprovechaba para dar unas carreras detrás de los saltamontes, o simplemente para cambiar de postura: Cuando me marchaba, siempre, sin saber por qué, había de volver la cabeza hacia la piedra, como para despedirme, y hubo un día que debió parecerme tan triste por mi marcha, que no tuve más suerte que volver sobre mis pasos a sentarme de nuevo. La perra volvió a echarse frente a mí y volvió a mirarme; ahora me doy cuenta de que tenía la mirada de los confesores, escrutadora y fría, como dicen que es la de los linces... un temblor recorrió todo mi cuerpo; parecía como una corriente que forzaba por salirme por los brazos, el pitillo se me había apagado; la escopeta, de un solo caño, se dejaba acariciar, lentamente, entre mis piernas. La perra seguía mirándome fija, como si no me hubiera visto nunca, como si fuese a culparme de algo de un momento a otro, y su mirada me calentaba la sangre de las venas de tal manera que se veía llegar el momento en que tuviese que entregarme; hacía calor, un calor espantoso, y mis ojos se entornaban dominados por el mirar, como un clavo, del animal.	It was broad and hollowed out, and when I sat down there I could fit my arse (begging your pardon) nicely into the groove, and I felt so comfortable that I hated to leave. I would sit there at the crossroads for a long time, whistling to myself, my gun between my knees, looking at whatever there was to look at and smoking cigarettes. The bitch would sit in front of me, back on :her haunches, and gaze at me with her head to one side, from a pair of wide-awake brown eyes. I would talk to her, and she would prick up her ears, as if she were trying to get the full meaning of every word. When I fell silent, she took advantage of the lull to run around chasing grasshoppers, or maybe she would just shift her position a bit. When it was time to leave and I had to start off, for some reason I would always glance back over my shoulder at the stone, as if to bid it goodbye. One day the stone must have seemed, somehow, so sad at my leaving that I could not fight against the urge to go back again and sit down. The bitch trotted back with me and lay there gazing into my face again. I realize now that her eyes were like those of a priest listening to confession, that she had the look of a confessor, coldly scrutinizing, the eyes of a lynx, the look they say a lynx fixes on you . . . Suddenly a shudder ran through my whole body. It was like an electric current that was trying to discharge itself through my arms and ground itself in the earth. My cigarette had gone out. My gun, a singlebarreled piece, was between my knees and I was stroking it. The bitch went on peering at me with a fixed stare, as if she had never seen me before, as if she were on the point of accusing me of something terrible at any moment, and her scrutiny roused the blood in my veins to such a pitch that I knew the moment was near when I would have to give in. It was hot, the heat was stifling, and my eyes began to close under the animal′s stare, which was sharp as flint.
Cogí la escopeta y disparé; volví a cargar y volví a disparar. La perra tenía una sangre oscura y pegajosa que se extendía poco a poco por la tierra.	I picked up my gun and fired. I reloaded, and fired again. The bitch′s blood was dark and sticky and it spread slowly along the dry earth.